I’ve been to many, many beer festivals, and this was the most ill-conceived, disorganized one I’ve ever attended. Wait. I misspoke. This was the most ill-conceived, disorganized event of any type that I have ever been to.
The event sounded good on paper. Take a cool indoor venue, line up some good bands, and serve unlimited quantities of 50 different kinds of beer. As a bonus, give some of the proceeds to breast cancer research.
The implementation, on the other hand, was to sell an apparently unlimited number of Groupon tickets, have a few really slow moving people at the door admitting them, and then try to cram all those people into an indoor venue with limited space and no access to the beer.
I’ve learned by now that some of these events are slow to admit people, so I time it to arrive about 30 minutes late, assuming the line will be gone by then. We implemented that plan, but when we arrived at 6:35, the line was still around the building. We went and had dinner and returned at 7:30, but the line was still staggering. The only thing that saved us was that the one representative who apparently cared about the event decided that printed Groupons would be accepted with no need for scanning, and grabbed us out of the line. Thank God I printed my Groupon.
But the victory was short lived. Rescue from that line just put us into another line within the building, trying to get into the theater area. Then there was a line just to get the plastic cups for the beer. All the while I saw people pouring out of the building, so I knew this was not going to end well.
I explored the entire venue (very slowly forcing my way through the crowds), and found just three tables serving beer, each of them with two taps, and each of them with lines at least 40-people long. The organizers either really lied about the 50 beers, or I just did not see the other tables due to the crowds. We decided to do whatever it took to get a beer – just one – before leaving, even if it meant standing in line. We came down the stairs, rounded a corner, and there like a shimmering oasis in the desert (an extremely crowded desert) was a beer table with just two people in line. We eagerly handed over our cups and were rewarded with two cups of beer foam on top of about an inch of room temperature beer. As we continued around the corner with our treasures, we saw that this table also had about 40 people in line. We had just unknowingly approached it from an angle where we could not see the line. I’m surprised we were not lynched.
I will say this. The Yost Theater appeared to be a nice venue, and the one band we heard was very good. Although I had never been there before, I did some research and knew that it was basically a club, so I anticipated it would be crowded like a club. But this was ridiculous.
The flyer for the event said “Beer for Boobs”, which I thought was a reference to the breast cancer research. Now I realize what they really meant. You’d have to be a total boob to attend this event. Do not ever go to a Beer Loves Music event.